


could be weird (but i think i’m into it)

by vvinterhavvk



Series: in the middle [1]
Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Texting, this doesn’t have a plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 07:48:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12164598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vvinterhavvk/pseuds/vvinterhavvk
Summary: a story told between bedsheets, texts, and off-white ceilings.CAN NOW BE READ IN VIETNAMESE:https://ihatethroam.wordpress.com/2018/09/06/vtrans-could-be-weird-but-i-think-im-into-it/





	could be weird (but i think i’m into it)

**Author's Note:**

> based on the song “in the middle” by dodie. shes adorable and i love her. :)
> 
> i wrote this as a sort of “cool down” whenever i would work on the angsty fic that i’m currently writing. this is soft and light hearted wheras the other one is heavy and pretty sad on many levels.
> 
> this is also pretty different from one flash of light, which has recieved many postive comments that i really really appreciate!! i promise that we’ll get back to our regularly scheduled angst as soon as i have the time.
> 
> i started school about a month ago. it’s my senior year and i’m up to my throat with work, but i’m writing as much as i can! i hope you bear with me. i want my fics to be the best they can be before i post them.
> 
> that said, this is un beta’d. any mistakes are my own.
> 
> special thanks:
> 
> ellie and aidan, who will never read this
> 
> holly, sarah, cj, esmee, rheen, rachel, and yuumi, sorry i’ve been so inactive
> 
> and kasey, the best girlfriend in the world. i love you.

_From: Bren 11:37 pm_  
_cute boy at bar !!!!_

_From: Bren 11:37 pm_  
_wuld send pic but im trying to be inconspicuous_

_From: Bren 11:38 pm_  
_is that how you spell that???_

_To: Bren 11:39 pm_  
_Yes._

-

Polyamory. Noun. The philosophy or state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time. It was Brendon’s new favorite word, ever since The Talk.

  
“With capitals,” Brendon reiterates when Ryan brings it up to their friends over lunch. “It's not the talk where we talk about getting married or having kids or whatever heterosexual nonsense you two practice.”

  
Spencer and Jon glance at each other warily. They seemed to think this is another one of Brendon’s wild ideas. While they weren’t completely wrong, they had talked about it, like seriously talked about it. A lot. It was kind of weird for them to talk so much about something that probably wouldn’t even happen.

  
“Are you two not happy with each other?” Jon cuts in after Brendon rants for a little while.

  
“Hell yeah we are Jonathan,” Brendon says, loudly, the same time Ryan shrugs and says, “there’s just something missing.”

-

_From: Bren 12:01 am_  
_bought cute boy a drink_

_From: Bren 12:01 am_  
_he likes rum &a coke for future reference_

_To: Bren 12:03 am_  
_With whose money?_

_From: Bren 12:03 am_  
_stop txting me youre making me look bad_

-

The color of the ceiling in Brendon’s apartment is Ryan’s least favorite shade of white. Ryan points this out as much as possible, because he knows Brendon is too lazy to ever do anything about it.

  
“It doesn’t match the color of the walls at all.”

  
Brendon drags his hand down Ryan’s bare chest and keeps up the rhythm with his hips. His eyes are closed, but Ryan’s are open and trained on the ceiling. Sweat is forming on Ryan’s upper lip that Brendon kisses away. “Would you shut up about the ceiling while we’re fucking?”  
Cold and calloused fingertips move their way down Brendon’s back. Ryan tears his eyes away from the color he has nick-named ‘spoiled eggshell’ and focuses on the flush pink of Brendon’s chest. Ryan likes that color more.

  
“Maybe for a little while,” Ryan whispers, pressing his mouth to the area where Brendon likes being kissed, where his hair meets his jaw.

-

_From: Bren 12:13 am  
tall dark and handsome???_

_To: Bren 12:14 am  
Not exactly my type but who knows._

_To: Bren 12:14 am  
Dropped the bomb yet?_

_From: Bren 12:15 am  
no_

_From: Bren 12:15 am  
maybe hes into a 3some but not a /3some u catch my drift???_

_From: Bren 12:15 am  
i choose my prey carefully ryro_

-

Ryan was pretty particular about who he dated. Getting close to Ryan was usually hard, a task not many could accomplish, but Brendon had wormed his way inside somehow. They were two very different people, Ryan a quiet neuroscience major and Brendon a hyperactive music-education major. They had met Brendon’s sophomore year and Ryan’s senior when Brendon spilled his coffee on Ryan’s notes for his upcoming midterm in the coffee shop next to the record store where Brendon worked.

  
Ryan had disliked him almost immediately, but that feeling went away just as quickly. A year later, with Brendon still in school and Ryan interning at the local hospital, their relationship had somehow quietly begun to shift.

-

_To: Bren 12:18 am  
I need to meet this guy at some point you know._

_To: Bren 12:20 am  
I'm assuming silence is good?_

_To: Bren 12:21 am  
I'm 90% sure that Spencer is tired of making idle conversation with me while I wait for you._

_From: Bren 12:30 am  
i dropped the B-Word_

_From: Bren 12:30 am  
eyebrow wiggled so he got the point_

_To: Bren 12:30 am  
And?_

_From: Bren 12:31 am  
seems interested to me_

-

Dallon Weekes was tall, smart, handsome, and funny. Ryan had been head over heels in love with him.

  
They hadn’t dated for very long, just a few months their freshman year, but Ryan had always felt that Dallon had been the one who got away. They broke up when Dallon left to study abroad in France, promised to call when he returned, but Ryan never heard from him again. Ryan had always just figured he had fallen in love with Paris and never returned or maybe he had simply moved on from Ryan.

  
Ryan had accepted that Dallon Weekes would always remain a mystery, and didn’t bring up the relationship to Brendon.

-

_To: Bren 12:32 am  
So…_

_From: Bren 12:34 am  
come to the bar!!!_

-

“I don’t know what you think is going to happen. You’re inevitably just going to get jealous of each other.”

  
They’d had this conversation with at least four separate people. Brendon’s response was always the same.

  
“Not if we use proper communication, Pete.”

  
Pete turned a page in his textbook. His bar exam was coming up, Ryan remembered absentmindedly. Maybe they should leave him alone. Ryan had to go to work soon, anyway.

  
Mikey poked Pete in the side. “I don’t think those words are in Pete’s vocabulary.” Pete shoved his boyfriend away and didn’t add anything. Mikey continued, “I think you should go for it, if you think you can handle it. It’s your relationship.”

  
Brendon beams at Mikey. Ryan’s just glad that somebody gets it.

-

_To: Bren 12:35 am  
Coming_.

-

The area by the bar is so crowded, it’s hard to find Brendon at first. Ryan eventually spots him, one elbow leaning against the bar and the other hand pressed to the bicep of the man he is closing in on, whose back is turned to Ryan. Brendon is on his toes, getting his face as close as he can to the guy, but his eyes are wandering, looking for Ryan.  
The small smile that was on Brendon’s face widens when he sees his boyfriend. Brendon falls back onto his heels and moves a bit away from the guy, saying something that Ryan doesn’t hear over the music as he approaches. The guy turns, his familiar face faltering when he sees Ryan approaching him and Brendon.

  
“Oh fuck,” Ryan says, stopping directly next to his boyfriend and ex boyfriend.

  
“Ryan!” Dallon and Brendon speak at the same time, which makes Brendon whip his head to look at Dallon.

  
The first thing that comes out of Ryan’s mouth, stupidly enough, is, “I thought you lived in Paris.”

  
Brendon’s gaze shifts back to his boyfriend, his brown eyes wide and questioning.

  
“I moved back a few months ago. I wasn’t aware that you still went here.” Dallon’s eyes are glittering. He almost has a bit of an accent, his S’s sounding a bit like Zs and his Os dragged out a bit longer than they should be.

  
Brendon looks fascinated by the interaction happening between them. “You two know each other!”

  
“We dated our freshman year,” Dallon says, beating Ryan to the punchline.

  
Delighted, Brendon claps his hands together. “This makes things a lot easier.” Brendon lowers his voice a bit, leaning in and looking suggestively at the two of them. “So, whose apartment are we heading to, boys?”

-

_From: Bren 2:11 pm  
not even a good bye kiss? i am shocked and appalled_

_From: Dallon Weekes 2:40 pm  
Srry. Work._

_From: Dallon Weekes 2:40 pm  
Will call when out._

_To: Bren, Dallon Weekes 2:41 pm  
Dinner tonight? Our treat._

-

“You look so good. Ry, why didn’t you look this good on our first date?”

  
“Because our first date was TP-ing one of your professors’ houses then making out in a Denny’s parking lot at three in the morning.”

  
Brendon smiles so wide at Dallon that Ryan is sure it must hurt. Ryan likes seeing that smile on Brendon’s face, even if it isn’t directed at him.

  
Dallon hops down the last step and joins them on the sidewalk outside of his apartment. “You didn’t specify where we were going so I figured dressing nicely was a safe bet.”

  
Dallon is in a button up with jeans and converse, but he looks better than Brendon and Ryan. Brendon is wearing one of Ryan’s old t-shirts that has a stain on it and jeans with more holes than actual fabric, and Ryan is wearing a v-neck that might be a little too small for him and jeans that are just as tight, with boots that don’t really match either article of clothing.

  
Their date doesn’t seem too bothered by them. He gives off the air if being nervous, if anything. Ryan would never say anything, but he is nervous, too. Brendon seems perfectly at ease and confident, though. Without hesitating, he quickly pulls Dallon into a kiss one he stops in front of them. Dallon hesitates for a moment, but then responds. It lasts for a few seconds, then they separate. Ryan doesn’t move forward to kiss him, but instead grabs his hand, and everything clicks into place.

-

_To: Bren, Dal 12:34 pm  
Leaving AGAIN? I’m starting to think you don’t like us very much Dallon Weekes._

_From: Dal 12:37 pm  
-attachment-_

_From: Dal 12:37 pm  
Here’s my work schedule. Stop asking me out on work nights and maybe we’ll work something out._

_From: Bren 12:40 pm  
between your guys work schedules and my class schedule im not sure well ever get to go on another date_

_From: Bren 12:40 pm  
I miss my boyfriends_

-

Ryan is about ready to pass out. His shift went two hours more than he was originally scheduled, so he ended up clocking in an astounding thirty hours, missing the lunch that he was supposed to have with Dallon and Brendon. He was tired, hungry, and sporting a nasty bruise on his cheekbone from when one of his patients clocked him in the face when Ryan tried to give them their medication. He wasn’t having a very good day.

  
“Hi. We’re here,” Dallon said once he picked up. Ryan held his phone between his cheek and his shoulder, digging through his locker. He found the arm of his sweater and started to tug on it. “Bren ordered something for you.”

  
Distantly, Ryan hears Brendon say something that sounds like, “monte cristo.” Ryan’s mouth waters just thinking about it. He pulls the sweater on over his scrubs and pulls out his backpack, shutting the locker loudly. He moves his phone to his other shoulder as he pulls on the bag, staring up at the ceiling. “Thank you. I’m on my way.”

  
“Okay, bye. Well, not bye. You know.”  
Ryan laughs to himself, pushing through the door and passing a few other interns who are coming in as Ryan leaves. “Yes, I know.” Ryan can hear the blush in Dallon’s voice. “Bye.”

-

_From: Bren 2:57 pm  
the gyu next to me smells!!!_

_From: Bren 2:58  
i hate thi sclass already_

_From: Bren 3:00 pm  
ikdfhaskjdf_

_From: Bren 3:00 pm  
that was me smashing my face agaunst my phone in anguish_

_From: Dal 3:25 pm  
Think of the degree!_

_To: Bren, Dal 3:30 pm  
Ew, positivity_

-

The first time around, Ryan told Dallon that he loved him when they were sitting in the little bathroom that was connected to Dallon’s dorm room. The bathtub was two small to fit one person, much less two of them, but they squeezed in, fully clothed, anyway. Music drifted between the two dorm doors, a slow rock song from Dallon and his roommate, coincidentally also named Ryan, and an upbeat techno from the other room belonging to two guys that Ryan didn’t know the name of.

  
So they crammed into the little tub, their shoulders pressed together and their faces close, sharing a joint as two very different types of music floated in and out of their systems like the smoke between their kisses.  
The words just tumbled out of Ryan’s mouth without much thought, but Dallon still kissed him sweetly afterwards.

-

_To: Bren, Dal 4:19 am  
Guess who just got out of work!_

_From: Bren 4:20 am  
ha ha blaze it_

_From: Dal 4:30 am  
Both of you need to go to bed_

_To: Bren, Dal 4:32  
Oh believe me i’m about to pass out for roughly twenty years_

_To: Bren, Dal 4:33 am  
I just got home and Brendon is asleep on my couch_

_To: Bren, Dal 4:33 am  
Do you know what that means_

_From: Dal 4:35 am  
OMW_

-

Brendon told Ryan that he loved him first. They hadn’t even officially started dating when he said it. Had kissed a few times, barely saw each other between classes, and Ryan still resented him a little bit for ruining those notes.

  
A few weeks after their first encounter, they sat on a bench underneath the rain, an umbrella protecting them from the downpour above them. Ryan couldn’t remember if they had been having a conversation or not, but he does remember looking over at Brendon, who had been looking at him before Ryan had even realized.

  
“What?” He may have said.

  
“I’m in love with you,” Brendon may have said in return.

  
He may have imagined it, but the rain seemed to slow down, just a bit. “No you’re not.”

  
Brendon smiled. “Maybe not yet, but I will, one day. I can feel it.”

  
(He had gotten an A on the exam, and when Ryan told Brendon that, later, Brendon had just laughed at him. Ryan thinks maybe he had deserved it a little)

-

_From: Bren 12:58 am  
point of order_

_From: Bren 12:58 am  
it is snowing_

_From: Bren 12:58 am  
i dont have class tomorro_

_From: Bren 12:59 am  
and neither of you idiots are working_

_From: Bren 12:59 am  
so why the fuck am i alone_

_From: Dal 1:02 am  
Objection you have to study for your exams_

_To: Bren, Dal 1:03 am  
Furthermore, I work thirty hour shifts three times a week, I cherish alone time._

_From: Dal 1:04 am  
Objection I’m with Ry rn_

_From: Bren 1:10 am  
i hate you guys :(_

_From: Dal 1:11 am  
Ryan passed out three minutes ago_

_From: Dal 1:12 am  
Case closed_

_From: Dal 1:12 am  
Now go study for those exams!_

-

“Your ceiling color doesn’t match your walls at all,” Dallon points out one night, breathing heavily. Ryan bites his shoulder to keep from laughing too hard and waking up Brendon’s neighbors.  
Brendon sits up and leans on one of his elbows, facing his boyfriends. His chest is flushed pink and Ryan notices a hickey that is placed on his collarbone,and another where Brendon’s hips disappear underneath the covers. Dallon likes leaving the love bites, likes to cover Brendon and Ryan in them. Brendon wears them proudly. Ryan has a hard time covering them at work.

  
“If you guys hate my ceiling so much why don’t you paint it yourself!”

  
Ryan rolled over so he was on his back a bit more, still very much draped over Dallon, reaching up to run his left hand through Brendon’s already messy hair. “We wouldn’t have anything else to make fun if you for.”

  
A cold hand that Ryan recognized as Dallon’s danced across Ryan’s hips then made their way to the side of Brendon’s face, pulling him in for a kiss right over Ryan. Their kiss was sloppy and wet, yet sweet and warm, the only way kisses can be after sex.

  
Ryan didn’t have any problem watching them as they kissed, love and warmth spreading from his chest to his ears and down to his toes. When they separate, Ryan rolled to his side, letting Dallon embrace him from behind and Brendon from the front, squeezing Ryan in between their bodies. Dallon’s body is cold and Brendon’s is warm, their legs tangling together with Ryan’s like the final puzzle pieces.

  
Brendon clasps the back of Ryan’s neck and kisses him, just once and soft, but doesn’t move his face far once he pulls away, just rests his cheek against the pillow they all share. Dallon’s icy fingers are still dancing along their bodies, his lips and nose pressed to the back of Ryan’s head.

  
“I love you guys,” Ryan says, his voice barely a whisper. It’s so quiet, Ryan is worried for a moment that his words may have gotten lost in Brendon’s mouth, which is still dangerously close.

  
Dallon’s fingers stop moving, though, finding Ryan’s hand to lace their fingers together. Brendon brushes his nose against Ryan’s cheek.

  
They both utter something almost incomprehensible, succumbing to sleep, but Ryan knows. He closes his eyes after a few moments, a little smile on his face.

-

_To: Bren, Dal 4:13 pm_  
_-link-_

_To: Bren, Dal 4:13 pm_  
_Look at this apartment, the living room is big enough for Bren’s piano and the bathroom has a bathtub._

_To: Bren, Dal 4:14 pm_  
_Pet friendly._

_From: Dal 4:17 pm_  
_I’m sold_

_From: Bren 4:20 pm_  
_uou had me at ‘look at this apartment’_

_From: Bren 4:20 pm_  
_im tired of looking at my gross ceiling_

_From: Dal 4:23 pm_  
_What a momentous day, we’re getting an apartment AND Brendon admitted his ceiling is horrible_

_To: Bren, Dal 4:45 pm_  
_Let’s check it out when I’m done with work._

_To: Bren, Dal 4:45 pm_  
_I love you guys._

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr: allahlav


End file.
